Q & A From the Last Blog….

   Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, so-to-speak, I got inundated with a ton of questions from people, friends, family and you lovely readers, about this “sudden” but not sudden change, how it has affected my life and the lives around me, and what’s going to happen going forward.  So without further ado, here goes the questions:

1. Bridget, congratulations on finding faith. Your story is really awesome but how does one go from a certain faith/philosophy to a complete 180 with another faith?

Bridget:  This is the most asked question I have been asked since coming out a few weeks ago.  I wish I could explain it better, but it’s like this:  I was the Bridget most people have known for over a decade, and then I took a shower.  When I got out of the shower, every thought, idea, belief and understanding shifted.  Like a mountain range fault that decided to move a few inches, creating an impact for hundreds of miles.  This is precisely what happened to me.  How I went from believing in a specific idea, then after taking that shower, I no longer believed in it, I can’t explain.  It was a supernatural event, plain and simple.

 

2. What is going to happen to the community you founded 3 years ago based on your former beliefs?

Bridget:  Last year, I went on a sabbatical due to my health issues.  I find it strangely coincidental that things started shifting months before the event ever occurred.   At this point, the community will no longer be what it was, since as its leader, I can no longer teach the philosophies I had been teaching.  It would be awesome to create a Bible/worship/ministry study group out of it, but I’m thinking most will not be up for that.  One never knows, though.

 

3. How has your family handled your change? They must be so excited! 

Bridget:  Well, not exactly in truth, and really I cannot blame them.  Sure, they are thrilled that I have decided to come back full time to Jesus, but growing up in a Roman Catholic household, even though it is of Christian origin, there are certain dogmatic doctrines within the Catholic Canon Law that stipulates certain things that I happen to disagree on, which caused me to join a Protestant Christian church rather than go back to my Catholic upbringing.  Adult baptism, female pastors/ministers, etc are just a couple of issues I challenge the Catholic Church with, and I know for a fact the Church does not appreciate that.  So one needs to respect those differences…Despite our differences, though, my family is the most amazing people, and I know they love me unconditionally, no ifs, ands or buts.  I do have a cousin who is born again, and he has become even a more protective brother in Christ for me.  Jerry and I had always been close growing up, and coming to this faith only brought us closer.

 

4. I know you love to watch videos to learn about stuff.  Who has been your go-to channels or websites to keep up with your journey?

 

Bridget:  Oh dear!  Where should I start?  There are quite a few!!!!  Well, Jessica from Truth at Home, Starry Hilder, James and Lea from Philia Ministries, The Fundamental Home, Fouch-a-Matic and Esther Emery, Patara from Appalachia Homestead, Melanie from Road to the Farm, just to name a few!!!!!!  All of them are homesteaders, living their lives according to God, and well, I am just in awe of these amazing godly women!!!!!!!  Go subscribe to their channels on YouTube!!!!  You’ll thank me for it!!!!

 

5. How has this affected your personal relationship with God?

Bridget:  It has magnified it! Praise God! I honestly feel that I needed to go through the trials and tribulations in my life, because the Father has been preparing me for something big.  I feel my ministry in life is going to finally come to fruition in the next few years.

 

6. What going to happen to your blog?

Bridget:  Nothing.  My blog is my blog.  Just because I no longer believe in some of the things I talked about on my blog, doesn’t make them irrelevant to other people.  I think down the road, I will eventually archive those blog posts, but for right now, the mystical stuff will come down once I am able to sell the remainder of my inventory.  Plus, I will be putting up a disclaimer to show any new readers about my change.  And I think some of those readings are going to be a great reminder of how dangerously close I came from losing myself to evil.

 

7. What are you going to do with the friends and family who won’t support you on this?  Don’t those closest to you have a say in making sure you are making the right decisions in your life?

Bridget:  (yes, this question WAS asked)….Um, well, of course they have a say, this is a free will zone, is it not?  But whether or not they have the right to tell me what to do, well, as a 43 year old woman living in a free-ish country, I can easily say that I have my own mind, and without trying to sound snarky in any way, no one REALLY has the right to tell me how to live. Besides God, the only person I answer to is my husband Scott, because he is the head of our family.  I’ve always been a free spirit, so if anything, being closer to God than I have ever been before, will only magnify the love and wonder I have of this world we live in.  I can ONLY hope people see how cool it is to love Jesus!

 

8. Have you found a church you feel comfortable going to?

Bridget:  YES!  About a mile away from my home, there is an amazing community called Trinity Lighthouse Evangelical Church.  My friends Jenny and Steven invited me there, and I feel so welcomed and comfortable there.  It’s an amazing church, with even a more amazing Pastor.  Even his wife, I feel so kindred with her.  Like she completely GETS me!  And although I have been asked to give lots of churches a try to find the one best suited for me, right now I’m in a good place.  And I look forward to continuing going there.

 

9. What happened to you going to the Unitarian Universalist Church?

Bridget:  Ah, yes.  This sadly has hurt my heart to stop going there.  I had been going there on and off for almost 5 years.  I spoke to many of the parishoners there, who asked me to reconsider coming back, because in all my years of going to ANY church, this was the one that was like family to me. To put it quite simply, I’m heartbroken to not see them each Sunday.  From Kay, Desiree, Erica, Nick, MaryAnn and Carla, and so many more, not being able to see them actually causes a physical pain, but I know that right now, this is where I need to be right now.  Honestly, I wish there was a way to see both communities each week.

10. Is this the reason why you stopped blogging for the last few months?

Bridget:  Yes and no.  “Yes” in the way that my brain was going in about a zillion directions, and I could not keep one subject in my head long enough to jot something down.  And then “No” in the way that Wintertime is a very difficult time for me.  Living in Pennsylvania has its many ups during the Spring, Summer and Fall time.  But the moment old man Winter comes to visit, my health deteriorates as well as my state of mind.  Even as I type this on Tuesday, my mind has been filled with worry and anxiety of the raging Nor’easter happening outside.  Seeing gray skies with snow on the ground, crushes my heart.  My heart lies in warmer climates, where life is teeming and abundant.  For 3-4 months, I look upon dormant trees and bushes without their leaves, dead, brown leaves scattered like the memories of the warmer days the year before.  And it truly makes me ridiculously sad.

In light of that, though, I tend to pray more in the Wintertime, mainly because even with all my family and friends, I feel incredibly lonely and know that God is listening to me when I am in my darkest moments.  So, I turn inward, write more in my journal rather than my blog, pray and have lots of contemplation time.  It is when I tend to hear God the most!

So….that’s it, folks.  Those are the top ten questions I have been asked in the last few months over what’s happened to me.  Once this weather starts to stabilize and get warmer in the weeks to come, you will see more gardening/homesteading blogs and hopefully a video blog soon.  I would love to get everyone’s feedback on my thoughts for the upcoming gardening season and what people would like to see this old Hobbit girl try out!  This is Winters last Hurrah this week, so I am trying to keep that in mind with lots of love and hope for Spring and new life to come.

 

If you have any additional questions you want answered, send me a message or comment below.

Taking that Other Path in the Fork Of the Road…

One of my favorite sayings I like to say when I feel I need to have a heart to heart with someone – I like to call it a “Come to Jesus” talk.  Sometimes the most amazing and profound events in our lives tend to be also hilariously ironic.  This is precisely the case over the last couple months.

I’m going to tell you something that I didn’t think I would EVER utter to anyone.  This includes my husband, my sons, my parents, my sisters, my family and devoted friends.  I don’t necessarily know why I need to bear witness to this, but I do believe it’s time for me to speak out.  Since November 18, 2016, I’ve been quietly obsessing over it, because of how much it changed me.  And mark my word: I am changed.  Incidentally, my son Tim told me last night, “Mom, I don’t know about you, but there is something really DIFFERENT about you that I’ve noticed the last several weeks.”

At this point, only a collective few, including my husband and son, know what happened.

I’ve been on an incredible journey, and I guess now, it’s okay to talk about it.

First things first: I was born with the addiction gene in my DNA.  And this gene has taken front and center throughout my life. Food, prescription drugs, relationships, spirituality, you name it, if my heart felt a flutter, I took it for all it was.  Kind of like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Right now, my latest addiction seems to be on something I have taken for granted for many many years.

I am finding it very challenging to really put into words what I want to say. But trust me on this:  This will probably be a long post, because I believe once I get talking, it’s hard to stop.

Most of the time my head tends to be in the clouds, thinking and dreaming of things that I want, not just for myself, but everyone I love.  However, something needs to be said, when your life has been on this particular journey and living this particular belief, when all of a sudden it comes to an abrupt stop for no reason.  And like the flip of a switch, everything that I believed in, held and cherished for so many years, started to dissipate.

Going back:  The moment I first felt a twinge in my spirituality was when I was a semi-practicing Catholic.  This spiritual “awakening”, so-to-speak, occurred in the early months of 2004.  4 years later, in 2008, I was beginning my life without my soon-to-be ex-husband and found myself delving into another type of spirituality, which many called Paganism. It was something darker than what I had been used to, and yet it fascinated me to my core nonetheless.  Honestly?  I fell in love with Paganism.  Not just because of the rituals or clothing or music, but because I felt I could hold MYSELF accountable for things, rather than feel like some heavenly parental figure is up in the skies waiting for me.  For 4 years, I laid low, while continuing to practice as a Catholic, while secretly delving deep into practicing Paganism.  But I still loved Jesus.  That never swayed.  I truly believed in the heart of my hearts that my love for Jesus actually grew from my studies, and found I started calling myself a Christo-Pagan. (There is such a religion that exists).

In 2012, I finally made the decision to leave the Catholic Church, and be open about loving my Earth Spirituality.  In essence, I called it that because Paganism has a societal stigma that causes people to believe that all who practice it are devil-worshiping, animal sacrificing, followers of Satan.  I need to tell you all this – Paganism is NOT devil worshiping.  Pagans actually don’t believe in the devil.  It angered me so much, that I wanted to prove to the world my spirituality was if anything, stronger than when I was a practicing Catholic.  I joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, then became a leader in the community guiding and teaching like-minded individuals who saw and felt the same as I. I finally thought I was home in my faith.  Being able to love God, Jesus and Mary and the Saints and Angels, all while dedicating myself to Mother Earth by committing myself to the fundamentals of holding rituals honoring not just them, but all the deities that all the cultures in the world were made up of.  I felt I was co-existing with Mother Earth herself and I was a handmaiden to her services.  As the years passed, I realized Jesus, Mary, the Saints and the Angels started to take a back burner to other deities whom I wanted to learn and study.  I’ll be honest.  I tried.  I really did.  But it never felt the same.  Literally, I would thank a deity for something they gave me, but if I found myself in trouble, I called on Jesus.  I knew it, and yet continued to block my mind of the hypocrisy I was finding myself in.  Deep in.  How dangerous it was for me to think just because another religion doesn’t believe in something like the devil, didn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

How funny it was, then, when Jesus decided to take a stand for His cause, and call me back to the land of His living, and in the WEIRDEST place possible.

Jesus has an incredible sense of humor, I’ll tell ya.

In the Autumn of 2016 (funny, 4 years from the last opened door), I started studying Hinduism.  I was listening to a lot of Hindi music, while trying to practice some of the festival rituals that are held usually on the other side of the world.  I even wrote a blog about it here!!!!!

But if you are a subscriber or devoted follower to my website, you know that this was my last blog.  November 6, 2016.  Exactly TWO weeks later, I fell off the proverbial ledge and went underground, like Persephone in the old Greek tales.  For those two weeks, I lingered down there, because something was troubling me.  I felt a weight on my shoulders and my chest was so heavy I couldn’t explain, let alone breathe.  And then it happened.

November 18, 2016.  I took a shower.

I know, that was anti-climatic.  I just wanted you all to take a deep breath, cause we’re about to go down that rabbit hole.

Okay, so…Here’s where it gets weird:

It started out as nothing special.  It was a Friday night, and my husband was out getting our food after dropping off my step-son at his mothers, my son was at a friend’s for the evening.  It was just me and my doggie, Linus.  I turned on some Native American music in our bedroom and strolled naked into the bathroom where I felt I could take a nice long, hot shower all by myself.  There’s a freedom you feel when you have that alone time, and this was no exception.  I was singing and dancing in the shower, taking my time to clean myself, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence with me.  I turned around, and SO HELP ME GOD,  Jesus was standing in the shower with me.

I wish I was making this up, but this is the stone cold truth.

There was nothing perverted, obviously, but more or less the shock value from my end created a moment of ice-breakage.  He stood there with his arms crossed, not getting a bit wet, and said, “Sister, WHAT are you doing?”  He had on a white robe, with what looked like a violet colored sash.  He looked exactly like I had always pictured Him.

Frightened wasn’t the word.  Stunned?  Even more so.  I told Jesus that I was taking a shower as He could see, thinking even for a second that maybe this was all being made up in my head, questioning in my head if I fell in the shower and blacked out, did I have wine I forgot I was drinking? But this….this was real. He said, “Don’t patronize me, Bridget! You KNOW what I’m talking about.  ANOTHER RELIGION?  Am I really THIS bad that you want to look for more salvation in something else because you can SEE it?” He sounded exasperated, if not annoyed to the core.

AND STILL, I kept thinking this was all being made up in my head.

And then in a loud, booming voice, He said:

“Do you REALLY want to ruin ALL that you have created up there?”

And the most frightening to me, He said,

“Am I really not enough for you?”

I immediately felt a twinge of pain, or maybe it was guilt, because I couldn’t understand what the HELL was going on, but apparently Jesus was legitimately upset with me.  Upon realizing this, He then sighed and said something I’ll never forget:

“I want you to sing a song for me”, He said, “Remember that song you used to sing in choir, called ‘Hosea?’  Sing that for me. I like to think this is ‘OUR’ song.”  (now, in any other circumstance, anytime given the chance to sing in the shower, I’m going to make that sh** happen.)  But at this point I was having a heated conversation with Jesus in the SHOWER and the fear in me rose up, so I started singing quite softly:

 

“Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.

Trees do bend, though straight and tall, so must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you, to your heart where I will speak.

Integrity, and justice, with tenderness, you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.”

 

And just like that, 12 years of my life slowly washed away, like a silent tsunami coming in the middle of the night without any warning.

Everything I was, everything I THOUGHT I was, everything I thought I was going to be, disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I stood in the shower, looking down on my hands as the water was running off of me, and realized I was alone again.  But this was different: I felt a loneliness I never felt before, and not only was it suffocating, it was profoundly heartbreaking.  I started sobbing to the point I was shaking like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I started banging my fists on the wall of the shower so hard, bottles started falling off the shower shelf.  I started screaming “I’m sorry!  I’m SORRY! What have I done?  I’m so sorry!  Please forgive me!!!!”  But Jesus was no longer there.  I was utterly alone.  I fell to my knees in absolute despair and realized what a fool I was. For over a decade I acted like I loved him and knew him, all the while allowing other things to get in the way; it was the most horrible act of defiance and dishonesty I ever did in my entire life.

And now I was alone.  It was the darkest moment of my life to date.

But then I heard Him.  And I felt this almost heated warmth flow through my body, as if I was encapsulated within something like an incubator.  As I continued to sob on my knees, water still running, I heard Him:

“Shhhhhhh….Bridget Ohhhhhhh sweetheart, I know…..Welcome back!  Welcome back.  It’s alright.  It’s alright.  Just cry it out.  I never left you, no matter how much you wanted me to let you go, I just couldn’t.  And you know what?  You didn’t want to let go either.  It’s why you kept me silently close to you all these years, even when you told others I wasn’t there….shhhhhhh, no more tears.  It’s over.  The pain has been washed away….I made sure of this.  No more tears, Bridget.  Breathe in your new life.”

How does one recover from something like that?

I decided to delve into that part of me that has been in-fact, reborn.

I started reading the Bible.  I stopped doing earthly rituals that benefited my wants.  I began to walk on the side I promised myself 12 years ago I would never come back to.  I went back to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, where they welcome all creeds.  I opted NOT to go to a Christian church at first, well, mainly because my brain still has a belief that so many of these big-built theater-like churches are all ego-based ministry trying to pull people in for money and numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, let me explain before I get scolded:  I’m not saying they are ALL this way, it’s just how my brain has been perceiving this for so many years, I can’t remember when the thought first entered my mind. Nevertheless, I started watching documentaries on the Bible, on Christianity as a whole, on Jesus’ humanity and divinity.  And continued to go to the UU Fellowship until I realized I needed something more.

Most importantly, I got back to praying.  At least, the kind of praying I used to do years ago, now with a better understanding rather than I was “told” to say it.

I began listening to people like Kat Kerr, who has been given the gift of visions of Heaven.  And I then realized in an instant, that’s where my focus is going to be.

Heaven.

And what I need to do to get there.

I realized over the last several weeks that everything that I want, my garden, my homestead, future animals like chickens and goats, my front porch farm stand….all of it – has been cooking up in my brain and my heart with the absolute faith that one day I’ll get there.  So, why now is this happening?  Why has Jesus decided to make his presence known in the way it was presented?

I took some time to think about everything.  The shower.  Water.  Emotion.  Water is all about emotion.  And whenever I take a shower, I like to think when the water is falling on me, all the crap and muck from the day is being washed away.

So yeah, in a very different but just as intimate way, I was reborn again.

What does this mean for the earthly spiritual Bridget who loves to talk about angels, mother earth and the seasons?  Well, just hold on a sec.  I’m still here.  I’m still Bridget. I think that if anything, all my beliefs I have, are just that.  I can’t change what I truly believe to be true, as feelings are neither right nor wrong.  I think it has to do with what and more importantly, HOW we use our beliefs that makes up our character.

So, in the last several weeks, I’ve undergone much change.  And it has been an amazing journey.

But you know what? I’m still burning sage, collecting crystals and such.  But now I have a more intimate understanding of my uses for them. But no worries, I’m still the querky eclectic Bridget that will do anything to get people to smile.

I’m also going to continue celebrating the seasons through the Celtic Wheel of the Year method.  Ancient farmers used this method, it wasn’t just religious symbolism. Many organic farmers today still work with the moon and the seasons of the year based on these ancient traditions, and not modern commercialism.  So, as far as I’m concerned, Winter is over and Spring is here!  It is early Spring, so things are still dead and it’s pretty damn cold outside.  But some of my potted bulbs outside that don’t get hit with the frost are peeking out already.  As far as I’m concerned, the days of Light and Life are coming back.

I know I may lose friends over this revelation, and that’s okay.  Just as people evolve, I am sure relationships go through the same course.

Today my BFF Jenny and her amazing boyfriend Steven, took me to my first Christian service in what has been many years.  Over the last week, I got to speak to my cousin, Jerry, who told me he was overjoyed and filled with so much love and happiness for me for my conversion and is looking forward to talking with me more.

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have met with so much amazing positive manifestations with my personal life in health and career.  I have found myself immersed into personal Bible study and watching videos that seem to be calling me to watch.  Each day I wake up, I ask for Grace, even though I am not worthy of it.  I pray to have a good day and make good decisions.  And each day has been wonderful.  I feel like a child.  I’m learning all over again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be saved. But I do know, that feeling the presence of Jesus in my life has turned my life around.  Everything that I am is changed.  But, I am still Bridget.  I promise you that.  I am still open minded.  Still an empathic bad-ass.  Still a devout lover of Mother Earth.  I’m just understanding my life a bit differently now. I’m understanding my spirit now.  And most importantly, I’m understanding my heart.

This website will eventually change on some levels.  My store will come down and hopefully I will be able to change my tax id to my alias name, The Bohemian Hobbit.  The Spiral Willow will be closing.  My tinctures and teas will still be around, and hopefully one day, I will be selling other things more deserving of my journey. If you are interested in buying certain things on my site, I will be posting them on my Facebook page, The Bohemian Hobbit until all is sold out. I will still be writing about Ascension, Homesteading, Permaculture, my love for Hobbits (well, DUH!), and of course, Spirituality.  But in order for me to write from my heart, you will undoubtedly see the change in my writing.  If you no longer feel comfortable with my writings, know I completely understand and you have every right to go.  I will let you go freely with so much love and admiration, you’ll definitely feel it!!!!

As we begin the week for Valentine’s Day, I find it no coincidence that outside my husband and children, I have fallen madly in love with Jesus and becoming a born-again Christian.  Take that as you will, all I know is that I stand here in witness, to tell you, that I have been changed.  I am changed.  What happened to me, was supernatural.  Was intensely beautiful, and like I said, life – CHANGING.

And I will pray for the rest of my life this change will not only eventually save me, but will help me walk on a path to save and serve others.

I love you,

Bridget

The Bohemian Hobbit

 

 

Change…

I know I know, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here.  Let’s just say the muse went on a vacation and she took a major sabbatical from my brain.  I don’t blame her.

Sitting here on this Sunday morning, I am looking around at all the trees, and noticing so many of them are still very green with most of their leaves still going strong.  And it’s October 30th *actually, it’s November 5th, it’s been a week since I typed this up and now I’m just getting to finish it *.  A bit unusual for this time of year, as the ending of the autumn season usually accompanies the falling of the leaves.  By early November, almost all the trees are bare. *actually, the trees are finally starting to change, and I have pictures of last Sunday versus this Sunday and see how they changed within 1 week*  And people say climate change isn’t real.  If people would stop for just a moment to see what our Earth is doing, they might actually agree.

(Our Sugar Maple)

(The Walnut Tree next door)

Change is everywhere in the air.  I am able to understand a little better now why I am feeling the blues hit me a little earlier than my normal time (which is usually between end of December to beginning of March).  The last time I felt the blues come on this early was 2008.  I was right on the cusp of a major life change.  The difference now than where I was in 2008, was that I am aware of the change.  Back then, my ego was still running the show, the MC of my life, so it allowed me blissful ignorance while I was doing my day to day activities.

The last few days I had been going over the life changes that were in store for me at the time I was unaware.  Who I was in 2008, is no longer on this plane of existence.  Like a leaf blowing in the wind before its final journey from tree to grass is complete, I said goodbye to that Bridget I once was.  Selfish, immature, narcissistic, egocentric, and living in the world of victim-hood, shedding those facets that made up of who I was, was challenging yet liberating.  I truly believed that once I shed that skin, the real Bridget would be out and I would then live my days in this new frame of existence.

How silly I was to think that was to be the last change!

Yes, its true, we shed physically every 7-9 years.  Astrologically speaking, we go through major changes every 17-19 years.  Right now I’m smack in the middle of my second nodal return.  Changes I am going through are enough to keep me on my toes.  Honestly, up until a few weeks ago, I thought I was in a good place in all areas of my life.  Sure, there is ALWAYS room for improvement, but I guess I thought the majority of my life was pretty much it, and I was pretty content with that knowledge.  Who would have thought my ego was still peeking through?

I have learned through grace and humility that ego does not like to be wrong.  It wants to win every time.  Ego will fight when you try to change.  That’s all ego knows.  Instead of fighting the ego, love it.  Bless it.  Acknowledge it.  Then keep moving.  Spending more and more time with ego will cause backwards thinking, stagnancy and despair.  I know because I’ve done it.  That “Stuck” feeling we get from time to time?  Depression?  Anxiety?  That’s all ego is.  When we step away from it, we come closer to our true selves.

If you are a follower of me on Social Media, then you probably saw a post not too long ago about me feeling a shift of my Spirituality.  For almost 2 decades, I have felt a kinship and a love for Earth Spirituality.  Being in Communion with God out in Nature proved to be one of the most intense and deep loves that I felt in a long time.  When I officially walked away from the Catholic Church on December 21, 2012, I truly believed I found where I was supposed to be.  I studied so many religions and faiths over the years, Earth Spirituality was most definitely *the* path I felt called to be a part of.  And for over 20 years, it’s where my heart lied.  Until recently.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my heart still lies there, just like it still lies with Catholicism in some ways.  When you emerge and align your body, mind and soul with a particular faith, you go all in.  Your whole world becomes taken over by it.  It’s literally like falling in love with someone.  Butterflies, a longing to be a part of them in every way.  I truly believe that’s how a person feels when they delve into a life change they have been craving to be a part of.  All the endorphins are finally released, creating a euphoric high within you.

This is precisely how I have been feeling when I allowed myself to dive into Hinduism.

What’s funny, is that for some time now, there were signs that I never bothered to take notice of.  From listening to Hindu music, Bollywood, just my overall love for Indian culture, yoga, meditation, Tibetan prayer flags (both Hindu and Buddhist) at home and at work, my sudden love for Lakshmi. Buddhas all around my home and at work (yes I know that’s Buddhist but humor me here).  Yes, the signs WERE there.  But I chose not to listen or look at them.  I had always been interested in Eastern Religions, as they go further back than Christianity and most other modern day religions.  But lately, Hinduism has been catching my eye, and most importantly, my heart.  Would you believe who I found in Hinduism?

(Yup, that’s right….that’s Jesus)

The only thing I’m not sure if I feel comfortable with is the idea of an incarnation of Shiva, or Guru.  It’s different from being a Karmapa (a living incarnation of Buddha). There are many representations of Shiva who are considered enlightened Masters or Swami’s.  Sadly, I have read many of them have controversies that are aligned with them.  From overcharging people for retreats/enlightenment courses (some can run around $10,000 a week), to sexual assault, and deception.  I learned long ago that all religions have their bad eggs, so I shouldn’t be surprised by what I found.  One teacher I have found I feel connected to, and although his name isn’t without some controversy (that later proved to be false so please don’t go trying to dig stuff up, I already did my research), he came into my dreams this past week and told me to come to his Ashram.

(Paramahamsa Sri Nithyananda otherwise known as Swamiji)

I was like, “What the heck is an Ashram?”  I had to Google it when I got up the next morning, and found it was a monastic community-like place where you go to pray with him. I’ve been reading up on his words and teachings, watching his videos, and quite frankly, there’s so much that he says that correlates with Jesus, it’s almost freaky to think they are kindred souls.  What I found was fascinating.  So many people have the impressions that Hindus believe and worship idols.  They do not.  They believe in ONE God.  One Divine Creator.  And within God, there are many dieties, enlightened masters, gurus, teachers, however you want to call them, that are the physical representations of God.  That they ask not to be worshipped, but to be called upon to help aid in our prayers going to God.  Sounds a lot like the Saints and Angels, doesn’t it?  The fact remains is that even practicing Earth Spirituality, I found Jesus, who has always been there since Day 1.  Moving onto a new path, I find Him again.  How Lakshmi is the representation of the Blessed Mother.  Different culture, same soul.  Does it mean I need to go back to Catholicism?  Heck no.  I love that I can continue to explore my profound and devout love through different cultures and different paths.  As I’ve said so many times, there are MANY paths to the top of the same mountain.

In the end, I feel that my journey in life is taking me down a new road.  I do not know if it will pan out, but I do know that in order for me to know, I need to do the walk. Bless.

 

 

 

 

 

My Dream of Hobbit Living…

There’s a reason why I’m called The Bohemian Hobbit.  My love for JRR Tolkien’s Shire lands within Middle Earth, as well as the little beings called Hobbits, brings me endless amounts of inspiration for living the simple life, being free from government control, living organically off the land, and of course, debt free living.

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(Hobbit homes in New Zealand as well as Peter Vetsch’s amazing architecture in Switzerland)

Hobbits of the Shire live a lifestyle what many of us call “off the grid”.  Unfortunately, where we live, it is illegal to live off grid.  Since moving here last year, I have been researching ways to get around that. Well, at least learn how to live *a little * off grid.  When you live in a society of convenience and greed, you really have NOT a clue how much we as a people are used to having everything at our beck and call.  Here are some ideas that I am talking about:

• Flipping a switch and lights go on
• Water automatically coming from a faucet with the flip of the wrist
• Opening up a door to a cold and temperature regulated refrigerator
• Plugging in anything and automatically get a charge

These are just a FEW of the many things we take for granted.  Think about this:  Nothing worse than getting caught in the middle of a storm and losing power.  People feel utterly helpless.  Even myself, who crave white noise in order to sleep, will lose her proverbial mind when everything shuts down.  So when we lose power in the middle of the night, my heart pounds and my chest tightens.  I have become so modernized that I have to admit, the idea of living off grid scares the hell out of me.

UNITED STATES – AUGUST 14: Times Square is plunged into darkness as the sun goes down after a massive power failure caused the largest power outage in the nation’s history, affecting 50 million people in parts of seven states and Canada. (Photo by Robert Rosamilio/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images)

Living off the grid is not easy.  If anything, it’s an incredibly hard way to live.  But I have learned from people I know, research I’ve done, that once you become acquainted with this way of living, 9 times out of 10, you will NEVER want to go back to a modern way of living.  

(Emma Orbach from Wales – who left her life to live a more primitive way – though this is a more severe way of off-grid living, it suits her and she is happier than ever)

Why are so many people wanting to walk away from modern living?  Well, money is the biggest issue I’ve learned.  With poverty at an all-time high, people are searching endlessly for more sufficient ways to live, as well as finding ways to “have” things without having the almighty bill that undoubtedly comes with it.  

 Going back as far as the 70’s and 80’s, society labeled these types of people as nomads or new age hobos. But these people were actually pioneers. They alone inspired a current day revolution of self-sustainability.

(what society thinks people who live off-grid look like)

Now we have hobby farms, organic micro-farms, and real life community CSA’s.  Homesteads and Small-Holdings are popping up all around the world, with people looking for ways to get back to the land.

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(modern day off-grid living)

Walking away from the modern way is hard.  I’m not saying it’s impossible, either.  It’s a 24 hour 7 days a week job. It’s hard work, but its also truly inspirational work. I’ve learned that camping is a good way to start to understand, even going as far as bushcrafting, which is a severe and incredibly primitive form if camping. Either one, though, can help a person learn pretty fast what it’s like to not have those modern conveniences at the ready.

(Shameless plug for two of my favorite people in the world, Colette and Jacqui – go visit them at http://www.bealtainecottage.com and http://www.themoonmother.net)

Living off the grid can also get messy for those used to living in a stark clean home. Usually with self-sustainable living, especially in a temperate climate like where we live (Southeastern Pennsylvania), the home and the land need to be constantly kept up and maintained, something that is usually unheard up in the modern world. It’s only modern normalcy to be able to get up in the morning, turn on the bathroom light, go to the bathroom, take a shower, blow your hair dry, get dressed and go down stairs to make yourself a cup a coffee, microwave a quick breakfast sandwich, jump in your car and drive to work. Come home, make dinner through either your microwave or stove, eat and watch TV or play on your computer, until it’s time for bed.  This is precisely what life looks like for millions of people, myself included.  People who live off grid have a different day:

They wake up and turn on their lights that are powered from the solar panels on their property. They sit and do their business on the toilet, but instead of flushing, they pick up some sawdust and throw it into the toilet bowl, because their toilet is a compost toilet, and not hooked up to the sewer. Compost toilet waste goes right into the compost, which is a widely used tool for feeding and fertilizing the soil. They go to wash themselves up, either by a water filtration system hooked up from the rain collected or from the well on their property.  Some of them have gray water systems, meaning all that water doesn’t go down into pipes, but buckets or an output filtration system, that feeds back into the land on the property. They go downstairs and light the fire on their wood burning stove or they at least stoke it, since many people use their stove as a heating system and boiler for hot water. They cook their breakfast over their stove, and they are off to work.  

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(Simon Dale’s Welsh Earth Home…Brilliant and completely off grid!)

But here’s where it gets truly revolutionary: Their office is a mere few feet away, since their “job” is working the land.

The job can be looked upon as basic farming: Tending the livestock like the goats, ducks and/or chickens, since these three animals are the main animals used in urban farming today.  Goats provide milk, which provides essentials like cheese, milk, kefir grains, while chickens and ducks provide eggs and for some farmers, meat.

(I admit, I’m obsessed with farm animals)

So here’s the thing. I have been talking to my husband and my son about the possibility of starting small.  When your electric bill is over $200 in a given month, your sewer and trash bill is almost $300/quarter, $250 for cable and internet, you know you need to make changes.  Our carbon footprint is rather deep and it’s important for me to stop that.  Honestly, if I could get rid of my toilets and just have a compost toilet, or get rid of our big refrigerator and just get a mini fridge, I’d do it in a heartbeat, but I also need to consider my loved ones who might not be too keen.  When dealing with family you live with that like the conveniences, I may have to Tai Chi the situation and approach things delicately. Going off grid, or partially off-grid (since it is illegal in my town to go 100%), is not for the faint of heart.  It takes careful consideration and a hell of a lot of patience.  Even as I am typing this, my heart races because the thought of walking away from conveniences terrifies me.  But continuing to live in debt terrifies me more. I know when my boys are out of the house and on their own, it will be easier for my husband and I to live this way, so for now, we are taking baby steps necessary to get to our goals.

Last year when we moved, I made a promise to myself that in ten years, I will be living the life I promised myself. And that it would be happy, healthy, and all around amazing not just for me, but for my family.  I want to teach them about how much we waste and how we have the power to stop it.  We all have the power!  Start out small.

(for me, it will be rain barrels, solar panels and a polytunnel)

Imagine this: the next time you want to throw something plastic in the trash rather than in the recycling bin, remember this: that piece of plastic could take up to 100 years to deteriorate. And there is a very high chance that piece of plastic will be eaten by an animal who will think it’s food, and that animal will die.  Every time we don’t recycle, or just “throw” things away, we are setting up for the future of our children and grandchildren. This is the hard truth we as a society have to face.  No more excuses.  We have become so incredibly lazy that we are killing the only planet we know we live on.  If we kill Mother Earth, where do you think we’re going to go?

See, this is the stuff I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night.  And knowing that, know that the time is now to make the change.

Mountains of waste pile up on the garbage island of Thilafushi April 2005

(Harsh truths of the world. These are recent photos)

It starts with something small.  I’ve been recycling for many years now. I turn off my lights when I am not needing them on. I turn off the TV when it’s not being used.  I garden. I make some of my medicines and teas that I drink. I eat organic food.  I’m TRYING to stop eating meat.

But I can do more.  And now it’s time to do so.  Are you ready to make the change?

The Ascension Series: Fear and Escaping Through the Art of Astral Traveling…

This morning, within a matter of 30 seconds, I read of 8 deaths. 2 by suicide, 5 at the hands of 1 of the suicides, and 1 by the grace of our Creator.  Then I read one of my favorite local pubs had a devastating fire. All this happened yesterday.

Breathe, Bridget.  Breathe…

The last few nights it seems my soul has been escaping to other dimensions or other places that seem so real, that if I didn’t wake up, I’d probably be OK.  Now, don’t get me wrong, reading those words is not a cry for help for something bigger and deeper brewing inside of me.  No, not at all.  In fact, only 1 time in the whole of my 42 years did I ever question my mortality.  I actually love my life, and looking forward to living much more of it.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to escape from time to time. Especially when I read things like what I read this morning, I’d do anything to just close my eyes and go somewhere else.

Over the last several years, I have been experiencing what you would call, “otherworldly” dreams and astral traveling.  If you’ve never astral traveled, you’re missing out.  There is nothing more liberating and thrilling than allowing your soul, still tethered to your body, to lift up and out, while it travels to places unknown that your physical body cannot go to yet.

In the beginning, I remember going up to my ceiling, and going out as far as my living room.  It’s frightful in the beginning, because I felt these tingling sensations, almost like sleep paralysis, but I knew that if I moved, I would be brought right back into my body.  No, I needed to venture out.  My soul knew deep inside there was more than the 3 dimensional prison we have been placed inside, with so many of us truly believing that THIS is our only home, that this is where we should be and we can never ever leave. That this indeed, was all we had. Sadly, there are still millions of people in our world that believe that. They are sleeping soundly, and seeing the continued war, political prowess, and evil doings within our humanity, it’s a wonder our higher selves and spiritual guides are at times, hesitant to come forth.

If you are just reading this for the first time and you are saying to yourself, “what makes you think I’m sleeping?  Just because I don’t believe in this crap you talk about doesn’t mean I’m ‘sleeping’…”

Well, my dear one…you are.

And really, I am SO sorry to tell you that. Look, I want you to think about something.

Why do you believe we are the only ones out there?  Why do you believe no one more powerful isn’t hiding things from us?  Why do you believe that we have to “obey” and “consume” in order to survive? Here’s a word for you that I am thinking is very important in your vocabulary.

FEAR.

Fear, my child, is the very essence to why so many humans are still “sleeping”. We have been driven in this world by fear. Fear of the unknown.  Fear of difference. Fear of change. The people who run this world drive this home to each and every one of us by things like food, drink, medicine, media, money, and so much more.

Monsanto is good for you, why?  Because they are the only ones who can feed you at this point.  Medicine is good for you, why?  Because they are the only ones who can make you FEEL better.  War is good, why? Because those people are different, and therefore bad and we are all the same, therefore we are good, and therefore we have to drive the bad out.

We live in a world of FEAR.  Our lives are controlled by FEAR. And allowing yourself to remain fearful of these very things, are what keeps these people in power, STAY in power. I mean, look at my news feed for example.  In 30 seconds, I learned of EIGHT deaths.  Fear of death is the most feared thing in our world.  Why?  Because we learned at a young age that death means separation.  Death means change.  Death means sadness.  And human being thrive on being together, all being the same, all being happy.  So, those in power FEED us with fear.  Hoping that we stay right where we are at.

I no longer follow this way any longer.  I decided to change.  I decided to be different.  I decided to create rather than consume. I decided to look at fear in the face and say, NOT TODAY.

So, I learned how to escape.  Not with alcohol or drugs, not with sex or gluttonous food or frivolous spending. No, I went deeper.  I went right to the heart of my humanity.  I went to my soul.  And I told my soul, “Let’s go somewhere.  Let’s get outta here for a bit.”

And so I did.  I started dreaming. I started allowing my body to release that fear by allowing my soul to break away from my body and explore what I craved to understand. And the moment I decided to let this happen, magic came into my life.  It’s been so many years since I started this, I can’t really pinpoint the exact date.  But I DO know, that as I grow older, my soul grows wiser, and I find myself exploring different worlds, different dimensions, different universes.  I started learning about my own soul’s ascension, lion’s gate and other portals into the universal consciousness.  WE ARE LOVE. So why do we fear?  If there was a time to break away from this fear pattern, this would be now.  I did it.  And for those that know me, if I can do it, ANYONE can. I’m about as hard headed as they come. But I did it, and it’s a freedom that sometimes can be SO overwhelming I just start crying. Last night my soul escaped to another plane of consciousness.  It felt like I was on a spaceship, but was like another Earth.  I was told I was STILL on Earth, but on a different dimension.  It felt like I was thousands of miles away from my home, my bed, my life, my world. I remember the ONLY thing I felt pain was the distance between me and my son.  I wanted him there with me, and made it clear to the people in charge of this ship that I wanted him there.  The assured me my son was fine, and that he WOULD be fine.  They told me they wanted me to stay.  I told them I could not stay forever, but that I would stay for awhile.  I explored the ship, which felt like a cross between a hospital, a home and a school. I walked outside of the “commander” office, and wanted to explore everything.  I walked into what seemed like bedrooms, bathrooms, and long hallways.  I looked outside and saw trees and grass with shades of green that I’ve never seen before. It was as if everything was iridescent, or metallic in nature.  So pristine, so beautiful. I was feeling sick and very worried that my son Tim wasn’t with me, so they told me to drink this water and it would make me better.  The water was clearer than anything water I’d ever seen in my life. It made me feel energized and motivated. I remember being told to go visit my parents.  I hopped on a spaceship and ever so smoothly, glided through the black vastness of space, towards an area that had these homes that were built up, almost as if they were floating in the sky. I recognized this home as my parents home, and proceeded to dock my ship.  I had with me my husband and 3 children, but they were little girls. As I approached their doors, I saw people laying in lounge chairs outside, as my Dad came towards me, I saw my Mom helping one of the people laying on the chairs. He kissed and hugged me, and told me that they were caring for refugees from another planet, who came here for solace from a war that was going on. I then realized it was MY Earth they were talking about.  They looked so sick.  My Mom was feeding them that water I had on the command ship. My Dad told me to go upstairs and seek refuge from the impending storm coming through.  The 5 of us went upstairs and found a bedroom with 4 twin beds.  The three girls pushed their beds together to create one gigantic bed, while my husband and I tried to figure out how we would sleep with just one twin bed.  I remember walking about my parents home, and seeing that so much of it was not being used.  Blank walls, furniture under white sheets, very stark. But all I kept thinking about was my son. Before I knew it, I was back on the command ship, and realized I missed my son TOO much, and next thing I knew, I felt myself open my eyes and I realized I was in my bed, laying next to my husband, and my son was standing above me going, “Good morning Mom”.  It was 9:48 AM today. (Sunday) I laid in bed, feeling a little sad about leaving where I was, but grateful I got to look into my son’s big brown eyes. Fear still lives within me.  The fear of separation. I learned long ago my son is a much more advanced soul, an incredibly old one for that matter, and that he is here to teach me many many lessons. He is a soul family member, as is my Godson, Brandon.  I still try to figure out who is in my soul family, and who are just passers by in this life of mine.  I truly hate having that fear of separation. And I think these trips I am taking is helping me understand that separation isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  But right now, I’m grateful I don’t have it. I need my son in my life like a person needs air to breathe. So although I can escape my realities to explore others, in the end, and right now, THIS is my home. And in understanding that, I need to learn to NOT fear while being here. But let me tell you, it sure is fun to get away every now and then. 😉 If you are interested in learning more about astral traveling, different dimensions and other planets/universes, please feel free to contact me. Namaste, Bridget

Flying in the Face of the Lammas Season…

***Excerpts from my Blog Post “Lammas and the Autumn Season“***

The Feast of Lammas is upon us!

Wait, what?  What is this silly Hobbit talking about? Last year, I wanted to go into a new series installment called The Wheel of the Year.  I’d like to think I hit every holiday, but I don’t know right now, I have to go back and check on my past blogs!

Lammas (in Christian/Catholic context meaning “Loaf Mass”), is also called Lughnasadh. (pronounced Loo Nah Sah).  It is a Celtic Sabbat/Holiday that begins the first of the 3 major Harvest Festivals.  Oh, by the way, I wanted to educate those who say Celtic wrong.  Celtic is pronounced *KELL-TICK*.  NOT *Sell-Tick*. Okay, I admit, that rubs me the wrong way in so many ways.  It’s like someone called the Amish with the pronunciation *AY-MISH* or Italian like *EYE-TAL-YUN*.  To me, it’s a bit insulting, and it can truly drive many enthusiasts like myself, mental.  For some reason, many sports teams that have the word Celtic pronounce it Sell-tick, but I can assure you, the proper right way to say it is how I mentioned it above.  Okay, moving on….

Lammas! Ohhhh I how love me some Harvest holidays! It’s probably one of the reasons why Thanksgiving is one of my favorite Holidays!  There is something about the word “comfort” that drives all of us to find our own sense of the word.  For me, comfort means my home.  And it’s going to be extra special since this will be our first FULL autumn in our new home!  It means all the stuff I love around me.  It means listening to music I love, smelling aromatic candles, drinking an amazing tea, reading a good book, a nice casserole in the oven, my husband and children around me.  That’s comfort.  Comfort is a rainy day in the autumn, when you wake up and realize you don’t want to get out of your pajamas.  And you don’t.  Whoever said  you have to get up every morning and get dressed like in your Sunday best everyday is for the birds!  People are going to accept you, whether you have makeup on, or going au natural.

Comfort is taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon on that said rainy day, smelling the rain and feeling the cool air coming in.  I love days like that.  But comfort is different for each person.  What is your form of comfort?  Think about it and write a list out.  When you realize what things make you feel comforting, then do what you can to make it happen!

Lammas is the beginning of the Harvest.  The first seeds planted in Spring are now ready to be picked of their ripened fruit.  Many will start to see the hay barrels in the fields from farmers picking their crops.  This is a good time to start thinking about what you are going to plant in the Autumn for next year!  Spring bulbs may be on sale in grocery stores or produce markets, so this is a great time to make a list of what you want to see pop up in Spring of next year!  Sadly, my garden has taken an INCREDIBLE beating this year with the heat and humidity of the Summer.  So much has died and withered, and I just wasn’t home enough to tend to them, OR I was home and the heat was too hard to bare, I couldn’t even get outside or my lungs would have flared up tremendously from how weak they get during this time of year.  So, I stay indoors and work on my dried herbs I already was able to harvest, as well as work with my tinctures and teas, and even today, I baked Soda Bread!!!!  YUM!

August 1st is the Feast Day of the Celtic deity, Lugh (hence the name Lughnasadh).  Lugh was revered by many as the man who sacrificed himself to give people the comfort of a good harvest.  He was in ancient times known as the Corn God.  Understandably why corn is usually harvested this time of year.  Nevertheless, this is a time of turning inward.  Just the beginning of it, though.  We are still in the throes of hot and humid weather, with lots of sunny days and warm nights ahead of us.  But the air is changing, and many can feel it right now.  Some associate it with the beginning of school, and whatever you need to do to understand why we are in the process of a season change, go with what feels good.

Right now, in my home, we are continuing our path to organization by preparing ourselves for what we hope to be an annual yard sale!  I promised myself come hell or high water we were going to get this house situated for living, and although we’ve been here for 9 months, we still have boxes to go through (yeah, I know).  Living with people who have a hard time purging old things, rooms can get pretty crowded in here quickly.  So, my daily talks about how good we feel when we are uncluttered I am hoping are getting into their heads!  I hope to be starting the autumn season with lighting some fall candles, and I don’t know about you, but it just feels right to do this now.  I love going to places like AC Moore and looking at all the Autumn/Halloween goodies that are already out on display.  I love planning on how I’m going to decorate this year.  I think its good to change it up every year.  It always gives off a fresh energy when you change things around, even with decor that only stays up a few weeks.

If you are interested in learning more about this upcoming season and how you can incorporate rituals in your life to make yourself more spiritually grounded with our Earth, keep coming back here, as I will have different ideas you can do to make this next season inspiring and fun!  Autumn is always easy, because there is SO much to do!  But remember: do what makes YOU feel good, instead of what everyone else is telling you how things should be.  You will be surprised how good it feels when you walk into this next Season doing things YOU love to do!

Next Saturday, my beloved Circle is getting together to celebrate this wonderful Season with great food and great drink, campfire and swimming, and crafts galore, and we continue as we always do, in perfect love and perfect trust.

As above so below, as within so without.

As the Universe, so the soul.  Blessings to you all!

Love, Peace and Macaroni and Cheese,

Bridget

Feeling the Welcoming Shadows of Lammas…

First off, I cannot believe it is July 6th. I haven’t written in a long while, mainly it’s because I haven’t had moments like what I am having now.  I’m actually on vacation, or what we 9-5’ers call “Staycation”. I am home currently in my bedroom, lounging in bed, at 1:40 PM. The temperature outside is 95 degrees Fahrenheit and all my phone says is “Very HOT”.  No kidding.  Summer is in its full and unforgiving swing, with temperatures sweltering and the humidity sometimes unbearable.  I equally love and hate this time of year.  Our Independence Day celebrations here in the United States are FINALLY over, and hopefully our doggie Linus VanPuggle will fall back into his normal pattern (we had first-hand knowledge of what fireworks do to pets, and our neighbors setting off theirs at all times of the day resulted in our pup vomiting, shaking, dry heaving, and all other sorts of crazy anxiety-ridden ailments.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Fireworks and Pets DO NOT MIX)

On top of that, we had some pretty crazy stormy weather move in a couple days ago, which prompted our pool to change to a pretty color algae-green.  Yuck.  So, my boys and I are stuck indoors today while our pool is getting its much needed shock treatment to get it back to it’s pretty crystal clear blue.

(Before the storms)

But as someone who follows the seasons (as you know), even with the heaviness of the heat and humidity, I can already FEEL the change in the air.  I knew this would happen since we had an early Spring.  So, naturally, the smell in the air is incredibly intoxicating with the musty scent of woods and grass, acknowledging that although Summer is very much the in season right now, Autumn is beginning its whisper.  And why wouldn’t it?  Just as it is in October we are wanting the Winter holidays, then in January, people start wanting Spring.  And it April, people long for the long Summer, so by July, Autumn is beginning to beckon us.  It’s who we are and we should NOT ignore the most basic of our bodies calling.  I talk about this every year and yet it still is important to mention.  Before religion became a “thing” in this world, the people ONLY had the Sun, the Moon, the Stars and the ever changing seasons.  Traditions and Spiritual paths are all based on this. Why we continue to fight this, I’ll never understand.

Yet here we are.

The last few days I had delved hard into the bedroom I share with my husband.  When we purchased this home a little over 9 months ago, neither of us had really any vacation time left.  So, I made a promise, that in the upcoming Summer, I would have a “proper” vacation, walking away from all work related calls, emails and the like, and settle on holing up in my home to do some proper nesting.  We went from a severely cluttered home to a “somewhat” cluttered home.  Trust me when I say, I feel like I’m living in a castle compared to what it had been!  We still have a lot to go through, and next month we are holding a massive yard sale to say buh-bye to those items no longer needed in our lives.  Anything we don’t sell, we are donating, or giving to my in-laws to continue to sell.  Either way, they are not coming back into this house.

I will say, I am rather bummed I cannot be outside right now, I know my plants are in need of my care. Sadly, my health and the outdoors in this type of weather don’t mix, and I don’t want to risk getting more sick. One can only hope we can get through the heat wave, and if not, I will continue to seed and plant, until Mother Earth tells me to settle in for the Winter.

Speaking of my garden, she’s not doing so well.  And as this is our first year here, I’m not surprised.  The ground is extremely brittle with areas of clay.  So, when watering, it just runs off.  I know it’s going to take another good year before I have good enough soil to get a better harvest.  My original goals of a decent harvest are continually being thwarted by this heat and the fact I get full sun for most of the day.  So, I really can’t water my plants after 7AM or they will get burnt by the sun.  Add the fact our house sits in what feels like a man-made wind tunnel, gardening this year has been completely exhausting.  And while I know the haters are laughing under their breath and desperately wanting to tell me “I told you so”, I know deep down it’s going to be okay, and that I just need to keep going.

(Sadly they don’t look this good anymore)

Kinda missing the Summer of 2014, now.  (For those on the East Coast of the US, it was the coolest and nicest Summer on record)

So, today I am painting.  Not walls, but canvasses. The Muse has been harnessed for a long time, sacrificing her time for a more rigid lifestyle of being an adult. The promise I made to myself when on this “vacation” from work to de-clutter my home, it was to de-clutter EVERYTHING.  So today, I am making space for my head and the right brained little girl who has been patiently waiting on the sidelines to come out and play.

(Couple little things I played around with today)

As I look outside and see the thick haze of the air, prompting the weather guys to issue a necessary air quality warning, I sit inside the imitation coolness of air conditioning, I quietly acknowledge change is indeed in the air.  This year in particular has gone incredibly fast. Which only solidifies my continuing argument that we are never guaranteed the next minute, and we can never get back the one that just passed. Be in tune with your breath.  Be in tune with your change. It’s who we are, it’s how we are. I for one, welcome the upcoming quieter time of the year.  But in the meantime, I will continue my lounging session for the day, before gearing back up to de-clutter more things around my home tomorrow.

The Season of Lammas is approaching.  Can you feel the shadows of the season coming?

 

Trying To Move Forward in a Backwards World…

 

Ahhh, today is Memorial Day.  An important time to remember the citizens of my country who paid a price for our freedom.  I know for me, Memorial Day should not just be a United States Holiday.  It should be a Universal holiday.  Religious zealots, political prowess, bigotry, and all-around hatred has caused our little world to continually be turned upside down.  Thankfully, we are at the threshold of a new era – an era of peace.  Those who believe in prophecy (not religious, but universal), know that usually after generations of war always follows with generations of peace.  And we are coming down from the climax of war.  Yes, even though there is still hate and war out there, we have to admit to ourselves we are moving towards a turning point.  Think about this – 100 years ago…what was NOT allowed to be?  Being public with homosexuality, transgenderism, women’s rights, freedom from slavery, child labor laws…just to name a few.  To me, as I see it, it’s an insult on the people who died so that we may live, by living with hate, anger and resentment.  Sure, we have the freedom to do that, but think about it…is it REALLY freedom?

I look at the world today, and see so much growth happening.  And although I still get disgusted at the hate and bigotry that is STILL out there, it IS decreasing.  People are beginning to wake up!  They are witnessing the innate and absolute awe of loving unconditionally one another.  Leaving behind the uneducated, misled and arrogant stances of how other people live.  When we STOP worrying about how other people are living, we begin to love ourselves a little bit more.  And when we love ourselves more, that love begins to radiate out to the masses.  This has always been part of my journey, as I learned long ago that the continuous judgement where I am on the receiving end of that judgement, will only create more anger in those throwing that anger toward me.  I choose love.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to be a walking mat, no, it just means I choose love.  Jesus once talked about walking away from the Old Testament “Eye for an Eye” way of life, and instead, choose to turn the other cheek.

Matthew 5:38-40 — “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth’. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person.  If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.”

Such a brilliant way to look at life.  When people choose to live their lives in hatred, judgement, bigotry, and an overall victim-hood mentality, walk away.  But walk away with love.  You can forgive those who hate you, spit at you and judge you, but doing it back to them only shows that you are just as bad as they.  Choose to walk away.  Now, 5-10 years ago, I would have lost my nerve and screamed and cried and made sure they knew how much they hurt me.  No more.  I listen, and tell them I’m so sorry they feel this way.  I’ve learned to know that I am an amazing woman who has flaws just like everyone else.  But I choose now to not use my flaws as ways to get out of things, or make excuses as to why I need to be “different”. Not my style.

Today my husband and I took a walk through our gardens.  We have been experiencing some really hot and humid weather, to the point that even my deep garden bedding experienced some tough challenges.  We talked about idea to make things better, and how to support the even living creatures and plants that now dwell back there.  Last week I put together a little bird bath made out of a ceramic potting base and an iron plant stand.  The robins and blue jays that have come to play back there now brings such a smile on my face.  I want the creatures to know that I not only build these sacred gardens for myself and those I love, but for them as well.  They need to eat too, you know!

Also, in my continuing lessons of humility, I started back up on my Celtic Devotional written by my dear friend, Cailtin Matthews.  Split into the four major Earth Holidays, each Sabbat/Season has a daily prayer for morning AND at night.  Solar and Lunar meditations, as well as additional blessings and prayers for everything under the sun.  I lost it during the move, so you could only imagine how happy to have it back on my person.

I also realized some other things.  I’m not cut out for certain things in my life.  It’s a quite profound moment when you realize this.  When you are in an environment that is not healthy, everything around you will go down with you.  I realized this when I came to the conclusion of my failing health.  It’s funny how it began when it did, and how it is continuing to this day.  I continue to find ways to get better, and always try to look at the positive side of things.  It’s not good when you know of people who seem to think the worst of things, the worst of you, or just make assumptions that are clearly not true.

I get it.  I don’t run with the “normal” crowd.  I don’t understand why it bothers people so much in what I believe in.  Apparently if you go to church but you are an unmitigated asshole, you’re still in better shape than me, a non-church goer who believes in doing good and being good. Apparently because I believe in things like angels and fairies, astrology and magical intentions, I’m doomed to eternal hell.  Does it make me sad?  Yes, I’m heartbroken that even at 42 I still get phone calls telling me that people I love are spreading assumptions about me because of their own fear or lack of understanding.  Should I resist?  No.  I’m not going to fight anymore.  I am simply turning the other cheek, because I know at the end of the day, I do it with love, and no one can take that away from me.

We need to work together.  All of us.  We need to STOP assuming the worst in everyone.  We need to STOP being so angry and resentful because your life may not be as happy as someone else. Make the most of your life.  The tiny things in this world can sometimes make the biggest impact.  To never give up hope even on the darkest of days.

Today my husband and my boys went for a walk through Blackrock Sanctuary.  Needed to be outside even on this hot day.  Being out in nature gives me a time, even for a moment, to realize what we have right in front of us.  And that to be grateful for these things will only give us more ability to move forward positively.  Be light.  Be love. Be magic.  Because all three is all around us.  But you’re only going to see it if you walk away from your chains of darkness.

Be The Change – A Q&A With The Bohemian Hobbit…

Every week, I receive many messages asking me the really big questions. Some family, some friends, some complete strangers who are new to my website. I thought this would be a great idea to do a quick Q&A on everything.

(Some before Mabon House and last autumn when I was lining the gardens for next years sowing)

#1. Where did you get the idea of starting a Permaculture Garden?

Well, this goes back to 2005, when I began my first garden in my home when I lived near the mountains. I had a small herb garden as well as a “normal” vegetable garden. I didn’t have Permaculture in my mind until a few years later, but at that point, I had left the home I was in, divorced my husband, and then started living in a series of apartments for about 7 years. It was when I moved to my last apartment in 2013 when I made the decision to start learning and educating myself in Permaculture Principles. I didn’t even think it would work, until a small tomato plant in my little hovel of a space, not only produced thousands of little cherry tomatoes through December of that year, but spawned at least a dozen new plants the following April.

(My rogue tomato plant that spawned a dozen more plants the following Spring)

#2. You were never someone who liked gardening let alone spend lots of time outside. What happened and what made you change your way of thinking.

For a little over a decade, I have been going through what would be called a massive and intense spiritual transformation. Realizing that my love for God was able to span from religion to religion and culture to culture. What transpired from that was a remarkable breakthrough of spiritual understanding. It began with a walk in the woods. And before I knew it, the more I walked, the more I saw. There’s a big difference between looking at something and actually SEEING something. For so many years my eyes were open but I was fast asleep. Now that I am awakened, every time I am within the elements of nature, I get butterflies in my belly, the same kind of butterflies one would get when you are falling in love. And I have totally fallen in love.

#3. You have a reputation of starting so many things and yet not completing them. What makes you think what you are doing is going to be any different?

This is actually a very good question and I can’t quite answer that. Human behavior suggests that leopards don’t change their spots, and being at 42 years old, I have inhabited a personality that most people claim will never change. But I beg to differ. I wish sometimes I could have the ability to have people jump inside of me to feel what I feel, and see what I see. Maybe then people would understand. I cannot tell you what the future will bring. And I have learned to stop listening to people who choose to continue to look deep within the past. I HAVE to live in the now. Live for this moment and nothing else. If I continue to make decisions based on my behavior as a child or teenager or a young woman for that matter, I would probably go nowhere. Part of the amazing evolution of the human body, mind and soul is just that. We evolve. We change. Everything from our environment, our likes and dislikes, our motivations and our fears is what makes us do what we do. For me, I cannot make it any more clearer than right now when I say I am not the little girl I was. I am not the teenager. I am not the woman I was a year ago. I change each and every day. And it’s one of the things I love most about myself. I refuse to accept that people cannot change. I am living proof that idea is dead wrong.

#4. What do you expect to get out of this project?

This is actually my favorite question. My hopes is that I will be starting a revolution in my area. I know my friends Jacqui is in her revolution on the West Coast, and Colette is in her revolution in Ireland, and then my friend Dan De Lion has his revolution across the river in New Jersey. I want to be a beacon for people who want to learn what people did before the modern times took over. I want to bring back Home Economics to the Schools in my area, and hopefully branch out. I want to work with the school district and be an aid to students who want to learn about Permaculture. Not only that, I want to be able to feed my family, friends and anyone else who is interested. Supermarkets and Superstores have taken over the food economy. Small artichokes for $2.50 a piece? $.99 for a cucumber? $2.99 for a small bunch of green onion? $6.00 for a small bag of potatoes? This is what our world is right now! And it needs to change. And I’m tired of hearing people complain and saying a change needs to be made, yet no one makes the change. I finally decided, I’m going to be the change.

#5. Who is your Inspiration?

Quite a few.  First and foremost, Gaia, or as many would call her “Mother Earth”. Other would be Jacqueline DuBois and the Mother Moon Monastery and Herb Farm, Colette O’Neill from Bealtaine Cottage, and Dan De Lion from Return to Nature.  Each one of them has created a revolution of life. Of rebirth.  I read all these blog posts, messages, watch their videos, and privately messaging.  They are amazing people.  Can you only imagine how amazing our planet would be if we had more Jacqui’s, Colette’s and Dan’s in the world?

#6. What about your family?  Don’t you think it’s a little selfish that you finally get a yard for them to play in, and you’re going to use it up with your gardening?

Sigh…Sadly, this question was asked by at least a few people.  And when you ask a question like that, sure, it kinda makes me look like a nasty mum who won’t give my children the area to play in.  So let’s break it down, shall we?

I have two boys.  They will be 14 and 12 this year.  Neither plays sports (unless re-enacting WWE moments aligns with that). My plan is a 10 year plan.  By the time the back area of my property will no longer be “playable”, my “children” will be well over into their 20’s, and I’m pretty sure they’re not gonna care what good ole’ mom has in store for the back yard.  In fact, we have a 16 foot above ground pool back there.  I think I would commit a cardinal sin if I took that down, so I think I’m safe.  Please also remember that directly 8 steps across the street is a football field’s worth of ground.  Plus the partially finished basement that is my boy’s headquarters, so I think my boys are okay with places to play.

#7. Say it’s 10 years from now.  How do you see your life?

Great question!  Thank you!  I see my life as this: I am 24/7 within the homestead.  I have a polytunnel in the yard somewhere so I am able to have all year around gardening.  I see myself with gray hair, dreaded and braided, wearing peasant skirts and a funny straw hat. My Bohemian Hobbit’s name will have been trademarked, and I am selling my teas, tinctures, infusions, soaps, salves, oils and herbs.  I will have a Front Porch Farm Stand that will be up and working between May-October.  I will be speaking at assemblies at schools on sustainability.  Chefs from local restaurants come to my home to get their food for the day.  My husband and I are working from home and making a living working the homestead.  I am providing sustenance to the local shelters and food pantries.  All with a cup of tea in hand!

Nursing the Possibilities…

The last several weekends have been incredibly busy, which has left me doing all sorts of gardening prep and maintenance on the week nights after work, which only provides me with a couple hours of sunlight.

(Potted a little over 70 seed pots, cannot wait to see what comes up! Each side is some Fennel and Calendula)

So, Sunday, I had promised myself that after all was said and done, this day would be the day to continue working with my seedlings, mow the lawn, and even shock the pool. Alas, it doesn’t look like much was going to happen yesterday, as the rain clouds, although not in one big clump, are sparse throughout the area, which is going to result in passing rain showers like every 20 minutes! But, Scott and I were busy-busy at keeping up with Mum Gaia as she spread her light showers. And we were totally okay with that, really. Mother Nature has a job she needs to do, and I firmly believe that we need to let her do it. She can most certainly live without us, however WE cannot live without HER!

(Excited to finally see my Roses and Morning Glories coming in to bloom, and that mystery daisy-looking plant finally flowered, and it’s Fleabane!  How exciting!)

So, the grass was mowed, and I got about 70+ seedlings planted in their starter pots. When I was finished, I stood in front of my little greenhouse, like a hovering new mother looking into the nursery. Maybe that’s why gardens and hospitals call these places “nursery”. We are nursing the things in that room to grow and thrive.

On another note, I’ve been keeping up with what’s going on astrologically. Mercury will be thankfully going out of retrograde status on May 22. But that still leaves 3 others in the retrograde phase. Mars, Saturn and Pluto.

With Mars, we need to remember this is a good time to SLOW down. When we try hard to make things happen, things can backfire if you are not prepared. And especially with Mars AND Saturn being retrograde, you best remember this will most likely happen. Expect to work a little harder for things. (in my case, that’s just a normal day for me hahaha). And then you’ve got little Pluto out there, reminding us that now is the time to cleanse the inner most part of ourselves. To walk away from things and people who no longer serve our greater good. When you are awake, it can be acutely difficult to be around those who are still in a sleep mode. You continue to love them and wish them peace, but their own lack of ascending is only going to hinder your own journey. Take time to seek within. Sometimes we have to make decisions that may hurt others, but will bring YOU peace. And you know what? Sometimes, you HAVE to make that sacrifice. You cannot be 100% for others if you are not 100% for yourself. I’m not giving you the liberty to make decisions based on selfish desires, but more suggesting you take a hard look at the who’s and what’s in your life that are bringing your soul down. And when the soul ain’t happy, nothing else about you will be either. I know people close to me who are suffering, or making decisions just like this. And as hard as it is for them, it is for the best of all concerned. If anything, that is what these retrogrades are teaching us right now. Slow down, think about what is good in your life and stick with it. Think about what’s bad in your life and let it go. It’s really that simple, even if the action itself is difficult to finish.

I myself have had a lot to think about in the last couple weeks. It doesn’t make it easier that the retrogrades have been causing a bit of a riot in my own life. Things not going right, conversations being skewed, plans being rescheduled, etc etc etc….For me, it relates to a bigger picture in my life. What does one do when every part of your beings KNOWS a change needs to be made, and yet, outside forces and even my own brain is telling me, “no no no, it’s too risky”. To say I’m scared is an understatement. But I know the universe has a way of working things out for the betterment of all, and so I have to trust in it. Deep inside I know this is a time of great possibilities. And I just need to have faith, right?
Great possibilities. Like my garden. I look around, and see so much possibility. The potential for growth, harmony, existence, life and so on…like my own personal journey is reflected into what is the Sacred Gardens. Because my life is sacred. Our planet is Sacred. And my soul is the nursery. Tending and caring for its very existence to grow and thrive in this world.

(Where I am nestled tonight in quietude where the rest of my clan in watching Wrestling in the family room…I choose Enya, candlelight and warmth…Maybe time to make a cup of tea???)